Nicole Bensen

Do you hide your joy to please others?

I saw this on Instagram the other day and can’t stop thinking about it.

My life is amazing right now.

Really. Freaking. Awesome.

I feel SO happy and grateful. 

My family is healthy. My husband is the BEST partner. We just moved to a home with more space for the kids. The house is surrounded by trees (which I love!), and so far the neighbors seem great (how important are neighbors, right?!). Our move brought us closer to family, too.

I’m not saying things = happiness, or that you need to wait for X to happen before you can be happy. Because that’s not true.

I AM saying that so many things I’ve been journaling about and putting on my vision board have come true, and I am reveling this moment. #manifesting

And yet, I’ve been pretty quiet about it.

For one, it feels like I’m “showing off” when I share a photo of our spacious house, or a luxury bag or car or outfit.

And second, I have a friend who just lost a parent. And another friend is grieving the loss of her baby. Another friend has basically been living at the children’s hospital since Christmas time when they found out her son’s recent headaches were caused by a rare cancerous tumor. Some friends have been laid off from their jobs. Oh, and in case you didn’t know, homes are falling into sinkholes; people are living in war zones; and lots of people don’t have access to clean water. And, and, and…

So, why should I be over here talking about how amazing my privileged life is when there is so much sadness, hurt, anger, and just downright awful stuff happening?

But then when is the right time to celebrate the good stuff? These goals we’ve achieved, this life we’ve dreamed of. I want to luxuriate in this feeling of joy. I want to lie back and drop my head in the warm, comforting, bubble-bath-goodness that life is right now.

Have you seen the movie Elf? There’s a moment where Will Ferrell, aka Buddy the Elf, shouts, “I’m in love; I’m in love, and I don’t care who knows it!”

That’s how I feel.

So I’m reminding myself, “You must seize the joy when it comes…Life is a cycle of ups and downs.”

It’s not your responsibility to “dim your light” to make others more comfortable. (And we can’t actually control what others think, anyway.)

What if “shining bright” and sharing your wins and good stuff actually inspires others?

That last line is so powerful, “Honour your joy, someone else would give anything for it.

Honoring your joy doesn’t have to be loud and public, but you don’t have to hold yourself back either.

If someone is triggered by you sharing your joy or success, that is not your responsibility.

For me, I’m going to work on noticing when I’m “dimming my light” and try to worry less about what someone else might think.

A related quote I saw recently was, “You’ve worked way too hard for the life you have right now to let someone [else] bring you down.”

What if we committed to supporting our friends (and ourselves) when the crappy stuff happens AND to celebrating the good and seizing the joy?

let’s do both.

Cheering for you!

P.S. I feel like I just let you peek into my heart and am having a bit of a vulnerability hangover. Would you drop me an emoji below if this resonated with you?



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