This is week 6 of my 12-week series, “Reclaim Your Dreams: Reignite Your Spark.” It’s designed to put you back in control of defining success and the dreams YOU want in just ~10 minutes a week. In case you missed earlier notes, you can catch up here: Week 1: Existential, Week 2: Intellectual, Week 3: Environmental, Week 4: Relational, and Week 5: Physical.

Welcome to week 6, friend. This week we’re talking about Mental Wellbeing.

This morning I was reading the 2023 State of the Global Workplace report by Gallup, and was sad to see these stats:

• 44% of employees said they experienced “a lot of stress” the previous day.
• 20% of the world’s employees report feeling lonely “a lot of the previous day.”
• Globally, employee wellbeing declined in 2023 from 35% to 34%. For workers under 35, wellbeing fell from 35% to 31%; but one bright spot, for those over 35, wellbeing increased from 35% to 36%.

Can you relate to any of these? When I was in my corporate job, I 100% related to feeling “a lot of stress.” These days I still have stress, but I have more knowledge and tools that help me not get to the point of burnout.

Now, as a solopreneur, working alone in my office at home most of the time, I relate more to the loneliness stat—the Gallup report says 25% of fully-remote workers experienced “a lot of loneliness” the previous day. I do miss having peers who “get” what I do and can rally around a joint mission.

One misconception about working in Positive Psychology I hear often is people think it’s a “positive vibes only” agenda, and I want to clarify that our goal isn’t to be happy all the time.

The human experience is complex, and that includes experiencing all kinds of emotions—it’s normal for our feelings to fluctuate over time.

We’re not trying to ignore negative emotions or only see the silver lining. 

(I won’t go down this rabbit trail right now, but the phrase, “Everything happens for a reason” can actually be really harmful. It invalidates someone’s experience and pain, removes the power to take action, and can discourage us from addressing deeper issues.)

This is all to say…

All feelings are important and tell us something.

AND

I’m a huge advocate of increasing the number of positive emotions we experience!

Because yes, we can control that. (In fact, it’s what my corporate workshop “Increasing Happiness” is all about. Grab time with me if you want to talk about a session for your team.)

Now, let’s jump into our practice for our week 6 pillar: mental wellbeing.

WEEK 5 PILLAR: MENTAL WELLBEING

This week’s life pillar is probably the most difficult for me, personally. I’ve never been athletic or fit. There is a 100% chance you’ll find me at a Michelin star restaurant over Orangetheory or Barry’s any day of the week; I’ll be the first to say I am no physical health expert.

So, this applies for every pillar, but I want to repeat: You are the expert on YOU—what motivates you, what feels like a good stretch goal vs. a boundary — you are in charge.

ANCHOR: Take 10 minutes to answer/journal.

• How is your mental wellbeing?
• How do you manage stress?
• Do you allow yourself to feel all your emotions?
• How do you process negative thoughts and feelings?
• Is there any area you’d like to grow?
• What do you want to 1) stop, 2) start, or 3) continue?
• What energizes you?
• What drains you?

AMPLIFY: If you want to go deeper on this theme.

• Want to see your personal score as it relates to “thriving” in life? Take this 2-minute quiz created by Barbara Fredrickson, Positive Psychology Researcher and Professor. Her research shows a ratio of 3:1 is the key to thriving—creating an upward spiral of wellbeing and resilience. This means experiencing at least 3 positive emotions for every 1 negative emotion. (Note: Your score is a snapshot of how your emotions of the past day combine to create your positivity ratio; you’ll want to measure this over a longer period to get a more accurate view of your life, since we all have good and bad days and moments.)
  
• Take a 20-minute time-out and listen to this guided meditation for Gratitude and Inner Peace.

See you next week for pillar 7!

– Nicole

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P.S. I shared these resources a couple weeks ago to support your relationship with yourself, and they align so well with mental wellbeing too, I had to share in case you missed them:

• Watch this Talk at Google with Dr. Kristin Neff: The Science of Self-Compassion.
• She’s also written several books; I especially appreciate her Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength, and Thrive.*

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