Have you heard of Jia Jiang? I don’t remember where I first learned about his 100 Days of Rejection Therapy idea (that started with a blog and turned into a book and TED talk), but it’s been years, and it really stuck with me.

IIRC, his idea stemmed from the time he didn’t get funding for his company, and the rejection hit him hard, so he decided to make a list of 100 ways he could be rejected as a way to build his confidence and resilience, and essentially desensitize himself to the pain of being rejected. These ideas ranged from asking to borrow $100 from a stranger, to asking Domino’s if he could deliver a pizza, to asking for a burger refill (we get soda refills, so why not?).

By gamifying it, getting a rejection was actually a success.

I talk about this in my program, Next Level You: happier, more resilient, confident, and calm. The only way we can build our resilience is by picking ourselves back up after a failure—so if we constantly hold ourselves back from taking risks, and NOT letting ourselves fail, we’re preventing ourselves from building resilience.

I’ve decided to track “1000 Asks” as my own spin. I don’t particularly want to chase the rejection, but I’m hoping that by gamifying the ask, it’ll make me more likely to try.

My reason is specifically to expand my business; I want to grow my income and clients.

My initial thoughts are: “UGH. I hate cold reach outs. I hate feeling like I’m selling. I’m scared people will avoid me/not like me.”

And I GET that this is a mindset thing. My brain knows that there are people who will benefit from my work. I just wish since I’ve built it, they’d instantly show up on my doorstep, er inbox. 

I know words have power, so after I acknowledge my first feelings, “I hate selling.” I practice saying and thinking what I DO want, or at least the direction I want. “I haven’t figured out the best way to market myself yet. The right people will be drawn to message.” And when all else fails, I employ humor: “At least I’ve learned what hasn’t yet worked for me.” 😂😭

So…this is my newest experiment. I’ve created a spreadsheet where I’ll track the ask and the answer (yes, no, not right now, no answer). And I’m going to push myself to get uncomfortable and make some asks. I’m thinking of sales outreach for executive development and team building, of course, but also applying for new speaking opportunities, and things like quoting my actual fees instead of just offering a discount immediately because we’ve been taught to “be nice and accommodating.”

I told my husband I want some of his audacity. Sometimes I have an ask, but I don’t make the ask because it makes me feel uncomfortable, and this year I want to stretch my uncomfy muscle. Not taking advantage of anyone, nothing illegal, but just making more asks.

1000 feels like a wild number to me, which is why I chose it. 100 feels like something I could do, where 1000 feels almost unattainable. Shoot for the moon, right?

My ask to you: if you know of a conference, offsite, or event that could use a happiness & wellbeing workshop, I’d love to hear about it. And if you think your team/company/organization/ERG could benefit, I’d be grateful to be considered.

If I don’t come back with an update, feel free to check in with me. 🫣 Knowing I’ve put this out there will hopefully help keep me accountable.

And if you have a goal or resolution you’d like to share, please reply back. I love hearing from you!

Warmly,
Nicole

P.S. Here’s why I don’t create resolutions:
5 steps for creating a Minimum Viable Experiment (MVE)
Experiments > Resolutions