Nicole Bensen

😬 When “Fake it till you make it” is a bad idea. (This is why your affirmations aren’t working.)

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been sharing a belief-shifting series: real tools for untangling the sticky, sneaky thoughts that keep us stuck (even when we know better).

If you’re just jumping in, here’s where we’ve been so far:
Part 1: My bestie is fake. Yet I’m in love. 
đŸ„° Visualizing your future self through “as if” journaling

Part 2: 7 Signs your subconscious might be running the show 
😬 Spotting resistance before it sabotages you

Part 3: When your brain’s gaslighting you, try this 3-step reset 
🧠 A simple practice to reframe old beliefs

Now we’re in Part 4 — where you’ve taken a step to change an old belief; but your brain isn’t convinced.


Last week, I invited you to take one small step toward your future self: a Minimum Viable Experiment.

Maybe you scheduled the call. Sent in the application. Raised your hand for the big project. Slid into their DMs. 😏

If you did, I’m celebrating you!

But if your inner critic showed up with a megaphone anyway
that doesn’t mean you didn’t make progress or that you did it wrong.

That’s just reality. Unfortunately, we can’t just delete old beliefs like files on our MacBook. đŸ˜©


Welcome to the Messy Middle

You’ve acted “as if”
 but your brain isn’t fully convinced yet. This is the in-between zone — that awkward space where:

  • you’ve done the thing, but
  • you don’t feel like a new person (yet)

Cue: hesitation, second-guessing, maybe even a little regret.

You might think, â€œShouldn’t I feel better/different by now?”

This is not failure; this is exactly how rewiring our beliefs works.


Affirmations vs. Declarations

I have to give credit to my new friend Jen for sparking this one; it came up in a conversation recently, and I knew I wasn’t the only one who needed to hear it.

Affirmations are statements meant to affirm something you already believe (or are close to believing.)

Sometimes they work beautifully
but when you’re in the messy middle of shifting a belief, they can actually backfire — because your brain doesn’t buy them (yet). 

Saying them out loud may just highlight the gap between where you are and where you want to be.

That’s where declarations come in.

Declarations don’t require belief yet. They aren’t about pretending. They’re about claiming your direction.

They can sound like: 

  • “I’m learning (or unlearning)…”
  • “I’m becoming someone who
”
  • “I’m opening to the idea that
”

Declarations give you space to grow into your truth—without faking it.


How to Turn an Affirmation Into a Declaration

Let’s say the affirmations you want to believe are:

  • “I am confident.”
  • “I am valuable because I exist, not because I produce.”
  • “Wealth, opportunities, and miracles flow to me with ease.”

But those feel
shaky right now.

You could try softening into one of these declarations:

  • “I’m learning to trust myself in new ways.”
  • “I’m becoming someone who sees rest, creativity, and joy as productive.”
  • “I’m practicing the belief that I get to be well-resourced and well-rested.”
  • “I’m opening to the idea that ease and abundance are available to me too.”
  • “I’m becoming someone who receives money without guilt or overworking.”

You’re not pretending to believe. You’re allowing belief to build.


BTW: What’s a declaration to me might already be an affirmation for you, or vice versa.

That’s why most empowering statements get lumped under the “affirmation” umbrella, and that’s okay.

The key isn’t the label. It’s the language, and how it feels in YOUR body.

(If you want inspo, I have a list of 160+ affirmations right here.)

If a belief feels like too much of a stretch for you today, soften it. Let it become something you’re growing toward, instead of something you’re trying to force.

And if this kind of shift feels sticky or just harder than expected, you don’t have to untangle it alone. You’re invited to a private Strategy Session where we can explore it together, just you and me. See more in the PS if you’re curious.

– Nicole

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