Nicole Bensen

36 Questions that Lead to Love

Hi friend!

Have you heard of the “36 Questions that Lead to Love”? It’s a set of questions put together by psychologists in the 90’s to see if two strangers could develop an intimate connection just by asking and answering these questions.

They start pretty neutral (“Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?”) and get more serious (“Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?”).

More on these in a second.

Last week was spring break for my older kids, and they were attending a horse camp (something *I* would love to attend!), so my husband and I sorted our schedules to have some good chunks of time for us to have dates and a “week of abundance.” 

Our dates varied from visiting a McLaren dealership to seeing a tulip farm to having lunch together at a new restaurant.

The tulip farm was a good hour+ away, so during the drive I looked up the 36 questions for us to discuss on the drive.

We’ve been together for nearly 20 years, so although we know each other well, it was fun to hear his answers to things I didn’t know (like whom he’d invite to dinner), and for us to talk about things we hadn’t talked about since our early dating days (like how we grew up).

Some of the questions didn’t make sense for us since they were geared toward strangers, but it’s a good list you could use on a date or even out with your friends to get closer. (Apparently someone wrote an essay for the New York Times saying they ended up marrying the person they used these questions with.)

Do you like questions/activities like this to build connections?

If you could have dinner with anyone, whom would YOU choose? I’d love to hear from you below!

P.S. In case you missed last week’s note, I shared some tools in honor of April, aka National Stress Awareness Month:

Looking for support for your team? Check out my team building workshops here.



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