Nicole Bensen

Ouch. Someone just rated my workshop…

I’ve led my workshops live for over 1000 people, and have never been rated a 1 out of 5…until last week. Ouch.

My classes are the result of thousands of hours of research and creation of activities. Truly my heart and soul and sweat and tears in workshop form.

In a meta display of events, at the workshop I actually gave the example of leading a workshop and it not going the way I wanted it to, and what would I do. I said, “I would practice mindful self-compassion by putting my hands on my chest, saying, ‘This sucks,’ and then remind myself that there is not one person on the planet who has a 100% score of every idea being a success.”

Want to see examples of this for yourself?

Think of your favorite book. Got it? Now go look up that book on Amazon or GoodReads, and see if everyone agrees with you that this is the best book ever.

Beauty and the Beast Movie Clip: How can you read this? There's no pictures!

Or how about your favorite movie? Or heck, even your favorite ice cream flavor.

Guess what. There is going to be someone who gives that flavor 1 star.

So, if you ever find yourself on the receiving end of not-so-glowing feedback, I’d offer this advice:

1. Know whatever feelings you’re experiencing are valid, and 

2. Remember you’re not the only person who’s felt this way. 

3. Remind yourself you did your best; then,

4. Ask yourself what you need at that moment.

Once you offer yourself compassion, then you can explore if this feedback is a pattern, or if it’s an outlier. Is there something constructive you can use to improve?

Is this an opinion you even want/have to consider?

Just because someone gives you their feedback or advice doesn’t mean it’s right for you.

Some people won’t like me because I’m too boring…or too bubbly, or they don’t like my voice, or face, or my favorite flavor of ice cream (pecan praline…or ube…).

But I’ve been working on building my resilience, so I’m able to pick myself back up when scores like this knock me down.

I hope these tips help you too.

P.S. Did you miss last week’s note about how travel positively impacts your mental health? Catch up here.



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