The other night, my husband asked what I was doing on my phone because tears were rolling down my face. I looked over and told him the truth: “I’m on Instagram watching videos of dogs—some have just 24 hours to be adopted or they’ll be euthanized.” 😭

Usually, when people think about “finding themselves,” they imagine journaling in a quiet room with a scented candle and a notebook. But what if I told you that looking at which Instagram Reels actually make you feel something, the ones that stop the scroll, make you smile or cry, or share with a friend, might just say more about your values than 20 minutes of journaling?

Admittedly, a lot of the Reels I forward aren’t heavy. Most of the time, I’m sending cute animal videos or ones that made me laugh that I think a friend would like too. But even those are signals. They show a value for joy and connection, wanting a shared experience with the people I love.

The Reels that give you the “feels” are clues to your values.

The $444M Question

In my vision board workshop, I ask people to imagine receiving $444M (legally and no strings attached 😆). It sounds outrageous on purpose.

Usually, the first things people talk about are travel, dream homes, and household help. A private chef and someone to do the laundry? Yes, please!

But then, the ideas get deeper. People talk about buying their parents a house. They want to fund childhood cancer research. They’d pay off a best friend’s medical debt. They want to build a massive no-kill animal shelter.

I’ll be the first to say I like nice things and experiences. But most of the time, we don’t even want the thing. We want the feeling we think we’ll have when we have that thing or person or experience.

We want to travel because we want to feel free or educated or remember how small we actually are. We want to visit the glitzy restaurant and buy the designer bag because we want to feel satiated, worthy, successful, or at peace.

This is why I guide people to create vision boards differently. A vision board shouldn’t be a shopping list for the universe; it’s a mirror to your values, designed to help you tap into how you actually want to feel.

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Have you seen the creator @mdmotivator? He recently came across my feed, and I went on a journey scrolling his posts where he organizes fundraisers, gives away cars, and surprises strangers with cash. It’s easy to say this stuff is just to boost the ego with a savior complex, or he’s doing it for the views, but seeing the light in someone’s eyes when they feel dignified and respected is a reminder of the impact we all actually crave. We want the people and organizations we believe in to have the support they deserve to thrive.

And there’s a biological reason why “doing good” feels good. It taps into three of our basic human needs:

• Autonomy: You are choosing to act based on your internal values, which gives you a deep sense of freedom.
• Competence: You see that you have the power to affect the world or someone’s life positively, which builds healthy self-esteem.
• Relatedness: You feel a sense of belonging and connection to others, which lowers your cortisol (stress) levels.

When your actions match your core values, your nervous system relaxes. You feel “good” because you are being the person you want to be, living in alignment with your morals.

So, I’m curious…if you had that $444M, what’s one of the first “impact” moves you’d make? What’s something that would make you feel like you made a difference?

Cheering for you,
Nicole