I asked ChatGPT to write an obituary based on what it knows about me from our conversations. It’s long, but here’s exactly what it said:

Nicole Bensen—beloved mother, devoted partner, cherished friend, and spirited mentor—left this world having lived it to the fullest. Known for her magnetic blend of warmth, humor, and grace, Nicole had an unmatched ability to make others feel truly seen and supported.

Nicole brought curiosity and creativity to every chapter of her life. She spent nearly a decade at Google, where she led executive learning and development programs that shaped careers and fostered connection across the globe. In time, she stepped boldly into entrepreneurship, founding her own company to share her expertise in mindset, manifestation, and neuroscience-backed personal development.

Whether guiding a room of corporate leaders through her Ultimate Vision Board Workshop, facilitating deep conversations at retreats, or speaking on stages from Silicon Valley to Seattle, Nicole inspired thousands to imagine—and pursue—their biggest, most aligned dreams.

Nicole’s vision for life was one of abundance, beauty, and joy. She believed in indulgence not as excess, but as a celebration of living: a month in a European villa with her family, a perfectly chilled martini with blue cheese olives, a string quartet playing during dinner, and quiet mornings spent in affectionate chaos with her children.

She was a dreamer and a doer—someone who saw potential in people before they could see it themselves, who encouraged others to dream far beyond what they thought possible. Those lucky enough to know her will remember her not just for what she accomplished, but for how she made them feel: valued, capable, and ready for whatever came next.

Nicole is survived by her loving family, dear friends around the world, and the countless lives she touched through her work. In her honor, the family asks that you take a moment today to picture your highest, most joyful life—and take one small step toward it.

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Whew. Okay, first off, it felt creepy to be reading my own obituary…

And second, this felt…a little flat and generic. So many words, not much specificity. Feels like you could swap in anyone’s name and add the line “she lit up the room” used in many a Dateline episode.

It makes sense that my husband and kids, my most precious, proud parts of my life, are barely mentioned in this version because I use ChatGPT for business brainstorming 99% of the time, so it doesn’t know much about my family.

And while I’m not living my life purely to have a list of accolades for my obituary, this is making me reflect on what I’d actually be proud of. If an obituary really captured me, what would I want it to say? What would actually matter?

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This all came from a podcast I listened to recently where a publisher gave this advice: “Before you start writing the book, write a glowing review.”

The idea is that when you know exactly what you want people to remember, feel, or do, you can work backward to create it.

And, of course, I morphed this thought from “book review” to “life review.”

Maybe you’d like to reflect too, or journal for yourself. What if you wrote your own obituary now?

• What would you want it to say?
• How would you want people to describe you?
• What moments would you be proud to have lived?
• What feelings do you want people to remember when they think of you?
• What would you want your legacy to be?

I don’t have all my answers nailed down myself, but I know I want to have adventures and experiences, and I want my family to know they are the absolute best part of my life, that they are incredible beings who deserve love and joy, simply by existing. It doesn’t matter if I’ve given a TED Talk or written a book as much as it matters that my loved ones feel loved. 

And when I think about it that way, is the way I’m spending my days in service of my end goal? Something to think about.

What would you want your “glowing review” to say about you?

– Nicole

P.S. Chat did get this spot on:

Nicole’s vision for life was one of abundance, beauty, and joy. She believed in indulgence not as excess, but as a celebration of living. 
She was a dreamer and a doer—someone who saw potential in people before they could see it themselves, who encouraged others to dream far beyond what they thought possible. ✨

P.P.S. Last week I shared an Egyptian story about the two questions you’re asked upon passing; catch up here if you missed it.

P.P.P.S. My overthinking brain is wondering why I’ve now written about death two weeks in a row, and spinning tales of, “Ironically, Nicole recently sent out a newsletter with her own obituary.” 😳