Three totally unrelated, recent moments gave me the same insight.

I’ve been thinking about identity: how the way we see ourselves directly shapes the choices we make, how big we let ourselves dream, and the lives we build based on what we believe we’re capable of and worthy of.

Moment one:
I posted a photo on my Instagram stories of my Taco Bell meal. 🤤
Someone responded: “I would have never guessed you eat at Taco Bell lol.”

Moment two:
Last week at the Self-Care Soirée I attended, there were so many women-owned businesses represented from B12 injections to facials and Botox talks, beautiful ethically sourced clothes and a charcuterie cart, fine jewelry and an astrology table.

If you know me, you know I love data and science, but there’s a part of me that is so curious about the spiritual stuff. (I call myself woo curious.)

I said to a friend, “I want someone to blow me away with an astrology reading, but I’m not sure it’ll ‘work’ because I’m just too skeptical.”
Her response: “Really?! You’re skeptical? That surprises me about you.”

Moment three:
My 3-year-old filled out a Mother’s Day “All About Mom” survey.
The prompt: “My favorite thing to do with my mom is…”
He answered: “To play basketball.”
Um, what?! Child, I’ve painted your nails more times than we’ve ever played basketball. (See: never, not once) 😂

There are so many versions of us floating around — in other people’s minds and in our own. Most are built from a moment, a mood, or a single side of who we are.

You’ve probably heard the saying: “We’re all the villain in someone else’s story.”

But sometimes, without realizing it, we start living as if that limited version is the truth.

We repeat old stories about what we’re like…
What we’re good at.
What we “don’t do.”
What we’re “not ready for.”
What we think we deserve.

You act in alignment with the identity you hold (the stories you believe about yourself), whether they’re accurate or not.

If you see yourself as someone who’s not great with money, you’ll keep making choices that match that version.
If you see yourself as someone who “starts a lot of things but never follows through,” that will play out again and again.
If you believe you’re “not the kind of person” who gets the dream job, the freedom, the partner, the trip, the house, the ease — you’ll end up pushing those things away (often subconsciously).

This is why manifesting and up-leveling your life has everything to do with identity.

It’s not about becoming someone you’re not. It’s about becoming more of who you already are — without the old (often untrue) limits.

Try this: Take five minutes today and ask yourself, “What do I believe about who I am, what I deserve, and what I’m capable of?” Then ask, “Are these true/facts?”

Let that be your starting point.

If you want support, I’ve included an opportunity below my signature.

– Nicole

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