Hi friend! Last week I shared the story of how I asked the Universe for a business bestie…and then hesitated when I got a coffee invite from someone who checked several of the exact boxes I’d been journaling about. 🙈

If you missed it, you can catch up here. I shared “7 signs your subconscious might be running the show” without you even realizing it.

So, what can we do once we spot those patterns and realize our old belief system is still trying to take the lead?

Here’s the good news: You don’t have to ignore it. And you don’t have to force yourself to try to believe something shiny and new.

You just have to loosen the grip a little and get curious.

3 steps I teach (and use myself) to interrupt and reframe automatic negative thoughts:

1. Call it what it is.
Have you ever heard the phrase, “Name it to tame it?” That’s what we’re doing here.

You’re taking a thought from, “This is true,” to “Oh, it’s this old story again.”

In my case, when I caught the thought, “You should be working instead of going out to coffee,” I called it out: “Ah. This is that old familiar story that says my value comes from being ‘productive.’ And going out to coffee isn’t productive.”

I love the Brené Brown phrase, “The story I’m telling myself is…”

It helps create space between you and the thought/belief.

2. Invite in an alternate possibility.
You don’t need to argue with the thought or prove it wrong. Just ask questions.

• “Is this thought 100% true?”
• “What else might be true?”

Then play Devil’s Advocate and try the complete opposite thought to see how it feels. “Going to coffee IS productive.”

Could that feel true, even a little?

Absolutely. Connection is part of my work. And it feels like something my future self would say yes to.

The following questions come from Byron Katie’s The Work: four simple but powerful prompts I come back to often:

1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
3. How do you react when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought?

3. Choose one small aligned action.
You don’t have to fully believe the new thought. Just act as if it might be true.

After I sent last week’s newsletter, I picked up my phone, sent her a message, and now we’ve got coffee on the calendar.

I know. 🙃 This isn’t a dramatic, life-changing story, but that’s the point! It was just one small yes that honored what I said I wanted.

At the end of every workshop and coaching session I lead, I ask you to choose an MVE—a Minimum Viable Experiment. This is one tiny, doable action you can take right away to move an idea into motion.

This comes from my background in Positive Psychology, where we talk about how even one small step can:

• Create a spark of satisfaction (what researchers call a “dopamine reward”)
• Build momentum
• Give you fast feedback, so if it’s not the right fit, you can easily adjust.

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When it comes to shifting beliefs, it’s not about “positive thinking” or pushing through.

It’s about pausing long enough to notice the moment, and deciding:
Is this the thought I want to keep following? Or is it time to try something different?

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This week, I invite you to:

1) Choose a Minimum Viable Experiment: one small action that aligns with the version of you you’re becoming (or dreaming about becoming).

It doesn’t have to be perfect, just something that nudges you closer.

2) Then, hit reply, and share it with me.
No pressure. No judgment.

Sharing helps you get clear, adds a little accountability, and lets me know what you’re working toward, so I can shape future emails and resources around what really matters to you.

Next week, I’ll share what to do after the first step—how to keep the momentum going even when you don’t fully believe the new story yet.

– Nicole