I went to a 4-hour “Urban Sketching” class with Steven Reddy on Saturday, and it was challenging, but not because of the most obvious reason, that I’m not an artist.

It was difficult because Steven’s style of drawing is that there are no mistakes; you don’t sketch a draft in pencil first, then refine before finally putting ink to paper—you draw in permanent ink, then shade in permanent ink. PERMANENT. And if you feel so inclined, you can add watercolor on top.

Did your chest just get tight thinking of drawing in permanent ink with reckless abandon? Or do you have a healthier relationship with taking risks? 😆

This felt super challenging for me because when creating anything—whether it’s a presentation deck for a workshop, or someone’s address on a holiday card—I like to be very precise. (Just ask me how many times I proofread my weekly Tea Time notes before finally hitting send. 😶)

I like rulers.

I like rules.

I want to know the bar for doing something “right.”

This is the all or nothing part of my brain that tells me if something is (I am) “good” or “bad,” and how far I have to go to be “good.”

Oof. This gets exhausting.

(And yes, I know that has ties to past trauma somewhere…the obvious guess is my strict, religious upbringing, but that’s a story for another day.)

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Do you suffer from people-pleasing tendencies too?

I recently heard someone say to swap “people deceiving” for “people pleasing,” because that’s what it is at its core.

But back to the art class.

Steven was emphasizing we could choose to sketch as a form of meditation—the definition of mindfulness is simply paying attention to the present moment without judgment, after all—and how we could see the act of creating as the joy and not get so tied up in the end result.

He said a lot of people create in order to have something to show off at the end, but if you create for the joy of creating, it doesn’t matter what the end result is, you’ll have reaped the positive benefits.

As I sat in Starbucks, the thought of sketching the surroundings was overwhelming, so I focused on drawing a few of my things on the table—my purse, sunglasses, phone, Pixel buds, ring, coffee.

And I kept having thoughts like, “OMG, this is so bad. I’m so bad at this. This is embarrassing.”

So I had to keep reminding myself, “Focus, be present, enjoy the act of creating, Nicole!”

Then I’d tell myself, “Of course this feels hard; you’re outside your comfort zone. This is just an experiment in learning new things.”

If you’ve taken my online program, ““Next Level You: Happier, More Resilient, Confident, and Calm” or my wellbeing, team building workshop, you’ll know these are the exact skills I talk about—slowing down in the present moment, withholding judgment, and offering yourself compassion.

It’s a lifelong experiment, this letting go of perfection and embracing the joy of creation, in art and in life. And maybe that’s where the real beauty lies, eh?—in the imperfections, the wonky bits, and the moments we choose to break the so-called rules.

Wishing you a joyful week filled with wonky bits and self-compassion.